Especially if you grew up in the sixties, when you think “advice,” you likely think “Dear Abby.” Her column still appears in the local paper; every day, she weighs in on everything from family matters (“Should I tell my daughter I’m gay?”) to social issues (“Should handicapped people have to wait in line for restrooms like the rest of us?”).
Today, Abby published a letter from a twelve year-old boy who fantasizes constantly about suicide.
Abby’s response is frank, straightforward, and professional. “You need more help than you can get from a letter. Here is a list of people you need to talk to right away. I hope you’ll get the help you need.”
Why is this response so perfect?
1) Even Abby — the advice lady — is able to admit some people have problems that lie outside the scope of her ability to help them.
2) She provides pointers to places where the boy can get the help he needs.
3) Having done what she can, she gently disengages and withdraws.
I’ve met a lot of Tarot readers who could learn a thing or two from Abby.
Tarot’s a problem-solving tool. Tarot readers are going to be approached by people with problems. A certain pecentage of these people are going to have problems that lie outside the scope of what a Tarot reading can offer.
All too many readers, though, faced with such a problem, fall prey to swollen egos (“It’s my personal responsibliity to help this person, regardless!”) or their own emotional immaturity (“She was so upset. I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ to her request!”).
If, as a Tarot reader, you’re approached by someone with:
a) a medical issue
b) a situation so desperate or so unsettling that it threatens to unbalance them mentally, emotionally, or physically,
then you should channel Abby:
1) State their problem lies outside the realm of what Tarot is designed to address.
2) Offer pointers to a list of professionals who can help them (doctors, crisis centers, suicide hotlines, etc.). It might be good, in fact, to keep a list on-hand and carry copies with you when reading for the public.
3) Resist the urge to become personally involved. Don’t say, “Please check back with me and let me know what you decide to do!” Instead, say, “I hope you’ll get the help you need” and gently disengage.
If Abby — the number one advice-giver in America — can do it, Tarot readers can, too.
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