Who’s Gay?

Who’s Gay?

This entry has a mature theme. If you’re under eighteen, scram.

A recent news release for one of the gay telelvision networks suggests that “as much as seven percent” of the U.S. population is gay.

The 2000 Census counted 594,391 same-sex couples: 1.2 million people willing to admit living with a partner of the same gender.

The Radical Religious Right has the strangest take of all on the “How many gays are out there?” question. On one hand, they like to claim we’re virtually non-existent: less than one percent of the population. On the other hand, they also like to position us as controling the media, running Hollywood, taking over the schools, infiltrating the churches, and strong-arming the courts.

In other words: the fundamentalists claim we’re nowhere … and everywhere … at the same time.

So the question remains: how many gay people are there? The biggest problem in counting The Gays is, of course, the fact that no one really agrees on what “gay” means.

Take these people, for example. Each of the following folks are personal acquaintances of mine — real poeple, though I don’t use their real names. How many of them, in your opinion, are gay?

– Adam, a minister, has been married twice and has fathered several children. He frequently fantasizes about having sex with other men, though he has, in fact, never slept with a man. More often than not, he’s impotent when with his wife; however, he can rise to the occasion if his wife will, as he puts it, “pay visit to the backdoor.”

– Barry, an Army Reservist, has been married for twenty-five years. He has four kids. He describes himself as a “staunch Christian” and a “Regan Republican.” In his teenage years, he slept with as many men as women. As an adult, he has had a number of secret one-night stands with men one the side. But “it’s nothing serious,” he says. “I do it just to get all that off my mind.” At church and on his personal web site, he is opely and vocally against gay rights of any kind, including gay marriage.

– Carl is a thirty-five-year old divorced man with two failed marriages to his name. As a teenager, he was aggressively sexual with anyone, male or female, who would sleep with him. As an adult, he frequently encouraged his wife to invite other men to join them in bed. Today, he is looking for another wife, even while arranging to meet gay men through an Internet dating service.

So … how many of these people would you say are gay?

Surprisingly, none of these people say they’re gay. None of them will admit to themsleves that they’re gay, much less admit it to a census taker or telephone pollster.

Add to this the number of closeted gay singles and couples in every city across America. Add to this the number of people who believe they’re just “going through a phase” and that they’ll “straighten out eventually.” Add to this everyone in denial … and add to that everyone who doesn’t feel the word “gay” describes their experience, and so they refuse to describe themselves as gay, even though they sleep or live with same-sex partners…

… and you begin to see, I hope, the problem we face when trying to estimate just how many gay people there are.

This entry has a mature theme. If you’re under eighteen, scram.

A recent news release for one of the gay telelvision networks suggests that “as much as seven percent” of the U.S. population is gay.

The 2000 Census counted 594,391 same-sex couples: 1.2 million people willing to admit living with a partner of the same gender.

The Radical Religious Right has the strangest take of all on the “How many gays are out there?” question. On one hand, they like to claim we’re virtually non-existent: less than one percent of the population. On the other hand, they also like to position us as controling the media, running Hollywood, taking over the schools, infiltrating the churches, and strong-arming the courts.

In other words: the fundamentalists claim we’re nowhere … and everywhere … at the same time.

So the question remains: how many gay people are there? The biggest problem in counting The Gays is, of course, the fact that no one really agrees on what “gay” means.

Take these people, for example. Each of the following folks are personal acquaintances of mine — real poeple, though I don’t use their real names. How many of them, in your opinion, are gay?

– Adam, a minister, has been married twice and has fathered several children. He frequently fantasizes about having sex with other men, though he has, in fact, never slept with a man. More often than not, he’s impotent when with his wife; however, he can rise to the occasion if his wife will, as he puts it, “pay visit to the backdoor.”

– Barry, an Army Reservist, has been married for twenty-five years. He has four kids. He describes himself as a “staunch Christian” and a “Regan Republican.” In his teenage years, he slept with as many men as women. As an adult, he has had a number of secret one-night stands with men one the side. But “it’s nothing serious,” he says. “I do it just to get all that off my mind.” At church and on his personal web site, he is opely and vocally against gay rights of any kind, including gay marriage.

– Carl is a thirty-five-year old divorced man with two failed marriages to his name. As a teenager, he was aggressively sexual with anyone, male or female, who would sleep with him. As an adult, he frequently encouraged his wife to invite other men to join them in bed. Today, he is looking for another wife, even while arranging to meet gay men through an Internet dating service.

So … how many of these people would you say are gay?

Surprisingly, none of these people say they’re gay. None of them will admit to themsleves that they’re gay, much less admit it to a census taker or telephone pollster.

Add to this the number of closeted gay singles and couples in every city across America. Add to this the number of people who believe they’re just “going through a phase” and that they’ll “straighten out eventually.” Add to this everyone in denial … and add to that everyone who doesn’t feel the word “gay” describes their experience, and so they refuse to describe themselves as gay, even though they sleep or live with same-sex partners…

… and you begin to see, I hope, the problem we face when trying to estimate just how many gay people there are.

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

Add comment

Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

Worth a Look