To the driver of the black Lincoln Navigator, who was on Canton Mart Road yesterday around 1:15 PM:
Generally speaking, it is very bad form to pass a car on the left when that car is turning left.
There I was, my turn signal flashing, waiting for the opportunity to turn left into an office park. And there you were, rushing up behind me. You were going much too fast for such a congested road. Frankly? When I saw you approaching in my rear view mirror, I braced for impact.
Instead of ramming into the back of my car, you swerved left. This put you on the wrong side of the street, barrelling down the (fortunately empty) turn lane. Had you done this a fraction of a second later, or had I been a bit less aware of my surroundings, you would have plowed into my car as I made my left turn.
As it was, I avoided you.
A block further down, still on the wrong side of the road, you almost struck a pedestrian who was crossing from the shrimp truck to the BP gas station. After clearing my lane, he was now looking west, checking for on-coming traffic; he didn’t expect a massive black SUV to be roaring down the wrong side of the road.
When I saw him walking out into your path, I once again held my breath. I’m about to see someone die, I thought. At the very last instant, the young man heard the noise of your engine. He whirled around and jumped back, pinwheeling his arms for balance.
You, meanwhile, swerved left again, careening into the BP gas station. You then turned quickly right, squealed your tires, and sped down Frontage Road like a bat out of hell.
You need to slow down. You need to turn that cell phone off. You need to pull those decals — the rebel flags, the buring skulls — off your windows so you can get a better look at what’s around you. You need a smaller, lighter car, so that when you smash into other cars or run down pedestrians, they will have a better chance of surviving.
You, sir, need your license revoked … because you, sir, are one reckless redneck idiot.
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