Okay. That Amateur Gourmet guy? He photographs his food. This New York Magazine reporter? He times restaurant lines and tells you whether the food is worth the wait. Lesson learned: In the restaurant review game, you gotta have a schtick.
Introducing MadeByMark’s Restaurant Review Haikus!
You know, haiku: unrhymed Japanese poems with one line containing five syllables, a second line containing seven syllables, and a final line containing an additional five syllables. According to the Wikipedia, the short verse also contains "the special season word — kigo — descriptive of the season in which [the poem is] set."
Today, while munching mystery meat at the reincarnated Empress Chinese restaurant, it occured to me that I didn’t need 350 words to describe the experience. Seventeen syllables will do it:
Silent new owners.
Strange buffet items drip grease.
Red leaves fall: sickness.
Jackson restaurant owners, beware: the Haiku Review is coming for you.
What a wonderful idea, Mark! I love reading reviews, and haiku reviews would represent a special challenge for the reviewer: communicate the most with the least amount of words.
This could have applications to other types of reviews too. Film reviews, book reviews… tarot deck reviews…
Your Empress Chinese haiku is certainly a good start. I’ll look forward to reading more.