Untethered

Ever since I first saw them on Good Morning America years ago, I’ve wanted to hop aboard a Segway — one of those two-wheeled, self-balancing vehicles that tech pundits claimed would change the world.

Years have passed, and the Segway hasn’t changed the world, exactly, but it has had an impact on the tourist industry, giving rise to companies like City Segway Tours. When I stumbled on their booth at the local Green Expo, all Adam (their friendly corporate rep) had to say to me was “Five bucks for five minutes.” I whipped out my wallet, handed over a portrait of Abraham Lincoln, and said, “Let’s go.”

Adam stepped me through a five-minute orientation session: stepping on, getting used to the movements of the extremely sensitive self-balancing base, learning to steer forward by leaning gently forward, and learning to brake (or reverse course) by leaning slightly back. I started out creeping around in large, lazy circles, but well before my five minutes were up, I was scooting around the joint at a good six miles an hour, weaving my way around cement columns and executing crisp figure eights.

“Ophelia” — the pet name for this particular Segway — was completely silent and remarkably responsive. This is another one of those technologies that quickly becomes “invisible” with use; within minutes, it really did seem as though I could control the device by willing it to go in one direction or another. Touring the town — whether on a lunchtime tour of downtown or a nighttime “ghost” tour — would be a real thrill.

So: W, D, nephews, and other potential guests be advised — I’m going to make a City Segway Tour a part of your next visit to the ATL. In the meantime, I’m actually considering what would be involved in acquiring a couple for personal use. If I rode one to work, would they let me ride it up and down the polished marble hallways at The Company?