I admit it. I'm a weather whore.
Storm clouds turn me on. I could watch thunder and lightning for hours. When weather sirens go off, I run toward them. I have an innocent but embarrassing crush on those guys on Storm Chasers. (That would be Reed Timmer and Joel Taylor — the lanky, speedy guys in the TVN pickup truck — not Kevin Spacey-esque Sean Casey or the tech-addicted Dr. Josh Wurman.)
Most of the time, though, weather 'round here in A-town is pretty mild … so, in order to get my severe weather jollies, I filter my reality through these handy rules:
1. Aggressively Round Temperatures. When talking about how hot it is, temperature must be rounded up to the nearest number ending in zero — as in "I heard it's going up to 100 today!" (even when the forecast was just for 91). When discussing cold temperatures, the number must be rounded down: "Twenty degrees tonight! Brrrr!").
2. Use Celsius Temps When Convenient. Use Celsius or centigrade temperatures only on cold days. When the weatherman says "It's going down to 31 degrees tonight!" run around saying, "Below zero! It's going below zero!"
3. When Discussing Snowfall, Convert Inches to Feet. Somehow, two to three inches of precipitation sounds much more exciting when you change it to "two to three feet."
4. Any Chance of Snow = A 100% Chance of Snow. I prefer to believe that the smallest chance of snow equals absolute certainty of significant accumulation.
5. Any Tornado Warning Will Do. It doesn't matter if it's for another county. It doesn't matter if the storm warning was actually for some night last week, when the program you're watching on Tivo originally aired. Watch. The Skies.
6. Refer to Any Storm as "The Mother of All Storms." As in: "I heard that hurricane coming is going to be the Mother of All Storms" or "That ice storm tonight? I hear it's going to be the Mother of All Storms." Say this solemnly, in your lowest voice, while stroking your chin.
7. All Lightning Strikes are Close. See lightning. Flinch. Shout "That was close!" Repeat.
Keith LOVES snow. Since we also live in Georgia, and the snow will not come to us, we go looking for it every winter! Last year we even got to see snow at Christmas by spending it in NY with my sister. The year before that we heard that it was going to snow in NC so we packed overnight bags and headed that way! And yes…we found snow!