Taking Stock

Before you can get to where you want to go, you have to have a destination in mind.

While reading Steve Pavlina’s Personal Development for Smart People , I’ve been inspired to take a look at ten distinct areas of my life and consider how happy I am with my progress in those areas. With an eye toward inspiring you to do the same, I thought I’d share my results.

1. Habits and Daily Routine. Last week, I allowed an aggressive personal and professional schedule to disrupt my hard-won exercise habits. I quickly paid the price for having done so. I gained weight. My back and neck started hurting again. I felt worse. My blood pressure rose.

This week, I’m back into my exercise routine, and that’s good. But I’m also very much aware of other changes to my routine that need to be made. Having taken a break, it’s time for me to start a writing project I care about … and get back to working on it for an hour a morning, every morning of the world. I need to make more of an effort to vary our evening routine so that it includes less t.v. time and more time doing real things with real people.

How about you? How satisfied are you with your own daily routine?

2. Career and Work. I’m very much aware that people at The Company read MadeByMark.com, so my willingness to disclose details with regard to my job satisfaction and long-term career goals is — understandably! — limited. For now, I’ll say this: I’m very, very grateful to have found a generous employer, to be working with a few people I genuinely enjoy and respect, and to be making a contribution that others value. (Oh — and that regular paycheck has its appeal, too!)

At the same time: I miss working from home. And, if I’m being honest here, I do have a dream: I’d like to be able to do my work, whatever it is, from anywhere on the planet. As long as the work gets done … why couldn’t I be based in Chiang Mai, Thailand?

As for my “other career” — my work as an author — it’s time to quit procrastinating and dedicate my daily writing time to finishing the next project. By extension, this means choosing that project from my list of options … and sticking with it until it’s done. I’ve had a lot of trouble making that choice over the past few months … which is just another symptom of not having a clear vision of where I’m going and what I want to achieve.

Once I know where I’m headed, I can pick a project that will help me get there. Meantime: how about you? To what extent is your work taking you where you want to go? Does it fulfill you … or just pay the bills?

3. Money and Finance. I am blessed — and I mean that — because I have the means to acquire everything I need … and most of the things that I want. Especially these days, that’s rare.

I’m aware, though, that I’m earning well below my potential. In 2001, before I left the corporate world, my salary was roughly twice what it is today. And while I’m totally grateful for what I have now, I can’t help but think I could earn more (and save more) if I could make smarter use of my free time, define my goals more clearly, and apply myself consistently.

If you keep saving and spending at your current rate … what will your financial situation be in five to ten years?

4. Health and Fitness. For the first time in my life, I can truthfully say that, if trends continue, Mark in 2012 will be leaner, stronger, and healthier than Mark in 2008. That’s a great feeling.

How about you? If you keep eating the way you’re eating now … and exercising the way you’re exercising now … where will you most likely be in five years? In ten?

5. Mental Development and Education. Every day, my job pushes me to find new tools and learn new tricks. That makes me very happy. I also have a list of things I’m curious about and want to learn: more about novel structure, more about screenplay formatting, more about getting screenplays in front of agents and producers.

I am aware, though, that I need more variety in my routine. I miss traveling as often as we used to — because travel dropped me smack in the middle of new situations that short-circuited complacency.

Meantime, I’m very much aware that I am not taking best advantage of the artistic and cultural resources Atlanta has to offer. Before moving here, we were all about attending the theatre and visiting the museums … and now, with great theatre and great museums right down the street, I’m spending more time watching t.v. than soaking up fresh creative fuel.

That’s gotta change. Meantime: what are you doing to push your own intellectual and cultural limits?

6. Social Life and Relationships. I’m happy as a clam with Clyde, and consider myself really blessed to have such a supportive and stable partner.

I am also blessed with a handful of very close friends and a pretty good extended network of acquaintances. I am aware, though, that I’d like to:

– meet more “casual friends” — people close by who feel comfortable phoning us up, asking themselves over, or joining us for dinner

– be more responsible about staying in touch. I get bogged down in work, and then, when I get home, I have very little time to spend with Clyde. In trying to minimize the amount of home time spent in front of the computer or on the phone, I’ve let some important relationships dangle. I’m still struggling with the business of balancing the need for quiet and personal time with the very real need to maintain contact with the people I love.

– identify and become invested in a community. Right now, apart from the Couples Class at church, I don’t really feel like I’m involved with a community of like-minded people … and I’d like that. I need to find some groups where I can make a contribution … and feel like I really belong. (More on this later.)

How’s your circle of friends?

7. Home and Family. This area of my life is healthier than it has been in years. I’m delighted with my personal home here in Atlanta … and really enjoying being closer to my mother and brother and their families.

Again, though, I am aware that I could do more to make these bonds closer. I want to be better about remembering and celebrating birthdays. I want to be in touch on a more regular basis. Instead of focusing on what my family “should do” (in terms of including me, visiting me, or contacting me more often), I want to model the kind of closeness I’d like to receive.

How are your family ties?

8. Emotions. I’m better balanced than ever, and feel happy and content most of the time.

I am aware, though, that I’m still more moody than I’d like to be … and that, when I’m tired, I could do a better job of keeping fatigue from sabotaging my efforts to be more even-keeled.

9. Life Purpose and Contribution. This is the area I’m having the most trouble in — and for me, that came as a total shock. Right now, I feel remarkably divorced from a larger life purpose. My life lacks a larger context, and, as a result, it feels a bit more shallow and directionless than I’d like.

I know I have a tremendous gift for telling stories … and I suspect that my gifts as a storyteller could be used to fulfill some larger purpose. What that purpose is, though, I don’t yet know … so I’m eager to start this voyage of discovery and see where it takes me.

How about you? How much do you know about why you’re here? How well can you pinpoint what you’re meant to achieve?

10. Spiritual Development. This is also a growth area for me.

On the one hand, I’m more spiritually healthy than ever. I feel an almost constant longing for a connection with the Divine … and, very often these days, I feel a connection with the Power at the Center of Everything.

At the same time, I’m really frustrated. I enjoy (and think of myself as a member of) the Couples Class at St. Mark United Methodist Church … but I am increasingly disinterested in (and no longer think of myself as a member of) the Methodist Church in general.

I am more in tune than ever with what I believe … and less able to find a community of faith where I feel comforted or supported by like-minded people. I long to branch out and try some other churches here — the Unitarians, maybe, or the United Church of Christ or even a neo-Buddhist group — but I don’t want to lose touch with people I value at St. Mark.

Maybe I could go to early service at a Unitarian Church and rush to St. Mark for Sunday School? Hmmm.

Your Own Checkup

This exercise provided me with unexpected insights, and it also helped me identify some areas of my life that need focus, attention, and intention. Having completed it, I’m now more aware than ever that I want to:

– define more clearly where I want to be in my professional life

– devote myself to a daily writing routine

– begin formulating some more creative ways to “show up for work”

– do a better job of keeping in touch with family and friends

– spend less time in front of the t.v. and more time living in the real world

– find a community of faith where I feel comfortable, connected, and supported … without giving up the very real, very valuable relationship I have with folks in the Couples Class.

– discover and define my larger life purpose … so that I can do a better job of identifying the relationships, work, and pastimes that are best aligned with where I’m going and what I want to be.

(This exercise is adapted from a much shorter — and, in some ways, much cooler — exercise in Steve Pavlina’s book, Personal Development for Smart People . I’m not a Pavlinaphile, and I have some concerns about the veracity behind many of Mr. Pavlina’s claims. But the book is a good read so far … and it’s well worth checking out. See also his website at www.stevepavlina.com.)