Why I Do Not Offer Auction Items to Foreign Bidders Anymore

My auction of more than 200 Tarot decks is almost complete. The auction process has been an adventure — particularly with regard to one question I’ve received dozens of times from dozens of potential bidders: “Why aren’t ALL of your auctions available to bidders outside the United States?”

Some have asked this question politely. Others have taken my decision not to open certain auctions to foreign bidders very personally. (“What do you have against the people of France?”) A few have sent me really aggressive emails with some fairly strong language. (“If I can pay, you should sell it to me. Doing anything else makes you look like a prejudiced jerk.”)

Because I’m weary of answering this question one-on-one, here’s a little post I call, “Why I Do Not Offer Auction Items to Foreign Bidders Any More.”

1) Weight Means Wait. If a package weighs less than a pound, mailing it to a foreign address is easy. Stuff it, stamp it, slip it in the mailbox, and it’s good to go.

But since 9/11, foreign packages over one pound must be inspected by the remarkably incompetent staff at my local post office. As a result, mailing packages over one pound means:

– finding a parking space

– wasting twenty minutes standing in line

– explaining what I’m mailing and why

– shuffling customs forms

– explaining postal regulations to the counter staff

– fighting over those regulations

– calling for a manager

– explaining the regulations to the manager

– finally getting the little sticker I need on each package

– getting dirty looks from other people in line.

Any package over one pound, then, generates a minimum of a twenty-minute wait in line, plus about five to seven minutes per package passing inspecting and getting the necessary stickers. (Without the right sticker, the package comes back to me.)

I often have as many as twenty to thirty auctions closing per day. Do the math: that’s twenty minutes in line … plus seven minutes per item … twenty items on a slow day … there’s the potential there to spend more than two hours just mailing packages!

All that time and stress … to send a $5.00 Tarot deck to Spain? Nope, sorry — it’s just not worth it.

2) Exceptions Confuse People. After getting hit with hundreds of emails from foreign bidders who threatened to bar me from their country if I didn’t allow them to bid on my auctions, I decided to allow one simple exception: if the item weighed less than a pound … and if the item could fit in a large or small Global Priority Mail envelope … I would open the auction to foreign bidders.

That, in retrospect, was a huge mistake. First, it pissed off the Italians, whose country doesn’t accept Global Priority Mail. Then, my small gesture seemed to really rock the world of folks who felt angry, insulted, and cheated when they could bid on a copy of the World’s Tiniest Tarot (five ounces, and fits in a small Global Priority Mail envelope) but couldn’t bid on The Fifty Pound Tarot with Hardback Companion Guide (fifty pounds, requires going inside the post office to mail, and won’t fit any Global Priority Mail envelope).

And, of course, there were the emails — dozens of them — saying, “Why are some of your auctions available for foreign bids and others not? Do you really expect me to check each one to see if I can bid on it? Are you just trying to make my existence miserable? And I thought you were supposed to be a nice guy!“

3) Special Favors Generate Special Headaches. Then came the emails from folks who felt that, for one reason or another, they deserved exemptions from the “not available to foreign bidders” rule.

“I once posted a message to the same internet group you did. Can’t you make an exception for me?”

“I’m one of the twelve people who bought a copy of Putting the Tarot to Work. Don’t you think that earns me an exception?”

“I’ve got anger management issues and stalk people who won’t give me my way. Don’t you think it’s worth your while to make an exception for someone like me?”

Eventually, one of these requests came from someone I really did feel a connection to … and so, stressing that this was a special case and that I’d really appreciate confidentiality, I granted the exception.

Of course, within minutes, I was receiving emails that said, “I heard through the grapevine that you made an exception for Person X. If you don’t do the same for me, I’ll smear your name and trash-talk your books all over the Tarot-related Internet newsgroups and make you wish you had!”

4) 85% of All Problem Bids are Foreign Bids. I’m sorry; I wish this weren’t true … but, for me, the vast majority of foreign bidders have become problem customers.

Foreign winners are the most likely to fail to make payment, ask for refunds, complain about lost shipments, whine about expensive postage costs, fret over long delivery times (after insisting on the cheapest, slowest method of delivery), and blame me for everything from their local post office’s incompetence to global warming.

Who needs all this hostility and stress?

5) Canada Really Isn’t in the U.S. At least twenty-four people have contacted me to say, “I know you don’t ship to foreign countries, but what about Canada?”

A note, then, to my Canadian friends: I love you. I love your country. I’m partial to your bacon. I want to move to Vancouver.

Despite all this: Canada is a foreign country. Packages over one pound sent to Canada still require me to deal with unpleasant folks at the local post office. Making an exception for Canada still gets me tons of mail saying, “Why ship to Canada … but not the UK?”

6) Time is Money. My family runs an internet-based business, and we ship as many as 200 items a day to buyers across the country. When it comes to pulling inventory, packing it into boxes or envelopes, and plastering the package with postage, I’m super-efficient. I can, for example, pull, pack, add postage to, and ship 50 DVDs in less than twenty minutes.

Foreign shipments, though, require lots of special treatment. Each one must be handled manually. Each one requires me to fill out, print, sign, and cut out (!) a customs form and affix it to the package. Each one that can’t fit into a Global Priority Mail envelope requires me to search for and assemble a box, pack it, fill it with peanuts, and tape it up.

As a result, fulfilling even one foreign order can take as long as 10 minutes. Six foreign winners could take an hour to fulfill.

One helpful reader suggested: “Just tack on a handling charge for your time.” That sounds good at first. But:

– people already complain about the modest $2.00 shipping and handling fee I charge … so I’m disinclined to believe that a higher fee would be welcomed by bidders

– I’m a writer. When I’m not writing, I don’t make money. Hours spent packing foreign orders will never pay me the hourly rate I need to make.

Sigh.

All of this to say: “I’m sorry … but:

– to avoid long lines and stress

– to avoid making confusing exceptions

– to avoid playing favorites unfairly

– to limit losses to problem bidders

– to make good use of my limited time

– to save my personal sanity

… I will never again offer auction items to foreign bidders any more, for any reason. There are no exceptions. Please don’t ask.

UPDATE: Within twenty minutes of posting this to my blog, I received this note: “Mark — I know how you feel about foreign bidders … but since I really want this deck, won’t you make an exception just for me?”

Sigh.

SPECIAL NOTE TO PERSON X: Since posting this to my blog, I’ve received notes from several people who felt I singled them out unfairly for public ridicule. Here’s the sad, honest truth: every story I told in this post has played out at least a dozen times.

In telling the stories above, I’m not singling out anyone. If the shoe fits, please know I’m not talking about you, specifically … I’m talking about a dozen other people like you. That’s not the same thing.