On some days, Being a Writer is a joy. On other days, Being a Writer is sheer, unadulterated frustration.
Lately, I’m stuck in “unadulterated frustration mode.” With an eye toward exorcising some demons by naming them, here’s a quick entry on the questions I’m asking myself while trying to deal with the frustration.
1) When did I become such a creature of habit? Circumstances beyond our control have decimated our comfortable “at home” routine. I’m trying to compensate for this as best I can. But with my “up at 6:30, writing by 6:45, shower at 8:00, breakfast at 8:30, back to work at 9:00” routine rendered impossible for now, I’m floundering.
2) How can I stop being derailed by Resistance? When a quiet hour does come my way, I should be writing, right? Instead, I find myself worrying, “What if I get started, and have to stop suddenly? What if I really just have fifteen minutes? How can I make progress if I can’t focus for more than a few minutes at a time?” The result? Hours that should be useful get wasted … because I keep telling myself I don’t have time to make meaningful progress on my projects.
3) Is it ever appropriate to just “give up?” Every single day, there’s a little voice in the back of my head screaming, “You should be writing! You’re missing deadlines! You’re getting further and further behind!” I begin to wonder if it would be healthier to simply say, “Okay, for the duration of our present circumstances, I am declaring a moratorium on writing.”
That appeals greatly to me … but then, I see poor Clyde banging away at his computer, managing Video Library from a distance, and I feel really guilty. If I don’t write, I don’t make progress toward the dreams I’ve been discussing here. If I’m not making progress toward those dreams, I’m delaying their fulfillment.
4) What’s up with the “staring off into space” thing? When I do sit down to work, I catch myself just … staring off into space. No words come. No magic happens.
***Sigh***
So … what can you take away from this? I dunno. Maybe just this: that sometimes, even those of us really, really focused on trying to Get Things Done have days (or weeks!) when we fall off the productivity wagon. (In my case, I think I’ve fallen off the wagon and gotten trapped beneath the wheels.)
Feeling stuck today? You’re not alone.
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