Big Brother has always been my least-favorite reality show. I missed seasons 1-4; we started watching Big Brother 5 with friends last year.
We’re trying — really trying — to be interested in Big Brother 6. This year, though, the producers have lumped together a look-alike cast (everyone young, everyone tan, everyone thin, everyone painfully aware that This Is My Big Chance To Be Discovered).
Worse, every single housemate seems to have been lobotomized. No one is clever. No one is smart. Heck, no one seems even vaguely aware of the obvious clues, plastered on every wall, that point to the house’s “secrets.”
Last night’s episode, billed as a night of scandalous exposure, revealed the secret relationships between pairs of housemates. Some folks were dating. Some folks were old friends. Some folks were neighbors. Scandalous? Shocking? Hardly.
Give me a Big Brother where three of the housemates are involved in a menage-a-trois. Give me a divorced couple that hates each other, and pair them up as secret allies. Instead of the queeny, bitchy black gay personal shopper, give me a handsome butch gay man paired with a leather-daddy biker. Toss in a fundamentalist preacher, a former Klan member, and a housemate who speaks only Chinese. Have one of the women be a secret transvestite.
Then tell each contestant: “You are not to reveal this secret to any of the other players. This year, the sooner you get evicted, the more money you make … and person who lasts the longest gets nothing.”
That would be a Big Brother worth watching. Meanwhile, Season 6 gets one more chance to intrigue me … after that, I’m outta there.
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