We return to America to find the entire nation embroiled in the most overblown non-event in recent memory: the uproar over Janet Jackon flashing her breast during the Super Bowl half-time show.
CBS issued a statement to the media almost immediately, saying the corporation “deeply regrets the incident.”
Yet Rudy Martzke of USA Today, in his best Monday-morning quarterback style, insists the apology should have been read aloud on national television.
Executives at PepsiCo want “clear assurances that such an incident won’t happen again. ‘We’re very serious about this,'” their spokesman said. (Their stance isn’t moral. According to this USA TODAY article, they’re mostly upset that, the day after the show, people are talking about Janet’s breast and not their ads. “All our quality work,” they complain, “has been overshadowed.”)
The FCC launched an immediate investigation.
Come on, people!
We’ve just returned from France, where breasts and buttocks appear in almost every newspaper, magazine, and television ad you see. Anyone wandering through the Lourve or the Musee D’Orsay will see a heck of a lot more than a bejeweled breast on display. Frankly? Even in airports, you see bared breasts, as women who eschew bottle feeding yank ’em out to serve up a Kiddie Meal the way that God intended.
So: it was a breast!
A breast!
Women have them!
Get over it.
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