Sinfully Hideous Candy

Sinfully Hideous Candy

I prowl the Winn Dixie grocery store, looking for a snack. After toying with the Reese’s Bites and beef jerky, I stumble on a six-foot tall display of Sinfully Delicious brand candies.

The concept: compress the flavor essence of twelve different desserts (key lime pie, chocolate truffle, peanut butter cup, etc.) into bean-sized pellets. Want the sensory experience of eating peach cobbler, but don’t want the calories or fat? Pop a fat-free, sugar free, two-calorie “guilt-free” candy instead.

Intrigued, I pick up the variety pack. Decorated with shiny holographic paper, it looks a bit like a shrunken Whitman’s Sampler. Inside, thirty-six colored disks lie in a rigid plastic container — tiny, compact Frisbees of flavor.

In the car, I pop my first choice — chocolate truffle — into my mouth.

The wafer feels waxy and plastic. I bite down, releasing a burst of the same chalky, gritty flavor I associate with Tums or Rolaids. Worse, instead of eliciting the luxurious taste of a chocolate truffle, the pellet tastes like a chemist’s attempt to create chocolate truffle flavoring using common household cleaners.

I rarely spit anything out. For Sinfully Delicious candy, I make an exception.

This first experience proves so remarkably bad, I almost chuck the entire sampler. I tell myself, however, that chocolate flavoring is hard to do. (Remember that awful chocolate gum back in the eighties — Bubble Fudge? Incidentally, if you miss it, the 21st century version is coming soon.)

So I try Key Lime Pie. To its credit, it doesn’t taste like antacid. Instead, it tastes like dry lime Jello power mixed with Comet cleanser and several packets of Sweet and Low. The flavor is so offensive, I try to offset it with one of the Dreamsicle candies. Big mistake: this Dreamsicle is a nightmarish mix of citric acid, orange soda, rancid cream, and clay.

I walk in the house, spluttering and gagging. “These are absolutely terrible! They’re the worse thing I’ve ever tasted. No, really — they are, without a doubt, the worst, most egregious thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

I eat nuts and chips, hoping the salty flavors will rid my mouth of the terrible bitter aftertaste. I hold out the box to Clyde. “Here, try one. You’ll see.”

Clyde reads the label and frowns. “Um, no. But thanks.”

I prowl the Winn Dixie grocery store, looking for a snack. After toying with the Reese’s Bites and beef jerky, I stumble on a six-foot tall display of Sinfully Delicious brand candies.

The concept: compress the flavor essence of twelve different desserts (key lime pie, chocolate truffle, peanut butter cup, etc.) into bean-sized pellets. Want the sensory experience of eating peach cobbler, but don’t want the calories or fat? Pop a fat-free, sugar free, two-calorie “guilt-free” candy instead.

Intrigued, I pick up the variety pack. Decorated with shiny holographic paper, it looks a bit like a shrunken Whitman’s Sampler. Inside, thirty-six colored disks lie in a rigid plastic container — tiny, compact Frisbees of flavor.

In the car, I pop my first choice — chocolate truffle — into my mouth.

The wafer feels waxy and plastic. I bite down, releasing a burst of the same chalky, gritty flavor I associate with Tums or Rolaids. Worse, instead of eliciting the luxurious taste of a chocolate truffle, the pellet tastes like a chemist’s attempt to create chocolate truffle flavoring using common household cleaners.

I rarely spit anything out. For Sinfully Delicious candy, I make an exception.

This first experience proves so remarkably bad, I almost chuck the entire sampler. I tell myself, however, that chocolate flavoring is hard to do. (Remember that awful chocolate gum back in the eighties — Bubble Fudge? Incidentally, if you miss it, the 21st century version is coming soon.)

So I try Key Lime Pie. To its credit, it doesn’t taste like antacid. Instead, it tastes like dry lime Jello power mixed with Comet cleanser and several packets of Sweet and Low. The flavor is so offensive, I try to offset it with one of the Dreamsicle candies. Big mistake: this Dreamsicle is a nightmarish mix of citric acid, orange soda, rancid cream, and clay.

I walk in the house, spluttering and gagging. “These are absolutely terrible! They’re the worse thing I’ve ever tasted. No, really — they are, without a doubt, the worst, most egregious thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

I eat nuts and chips, hoping the salty flavors will rid my mouth of the terrible bitter aftertaste. I hold out the box to Clyde. “Here, try one. You’ll see.”

Clyde reads the label and frowns. “Um, no. But thanks.”

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

20 comments

  • I first saw them on Unwrapped and decided to orderthem for a few friends and relatives for Christmas.I tried a few pieces from the free sample pack that came with them…These are TERRIBLE!! The most awful, nasty,taste-does-not-resemble-their-names chalky grit tablets.Fear Factor should look into these for a new stunt.I hope the laxative effect doesn’toccur.I am sending all of it back, including the “free”ones.I wish I had seen these postings earlier.

  • I first saw them on Unwrapped and decided to orderthem for a few friends and relatives for Christmas.I tried a few pieces from the free sample pack that came with them…These are TERRIBLE!! The most awful, nasty,taste-does-not-resemble-their-names chalky grit tablets.Fear Factor should look into these for a new stunt.I hope the laxative effect doesn’toccur.I am sending all of it back, including the “free”ones.I wish I had seen these postings earlier.

  • The problem is you chewed them. You aren’t supposed to eat them that way. You have to let them dissolve not chew them up, much the way you would savor the flavor of the real thing. If you eat them this way they not only taste good but it is uncanny how close the taste is to the real thing. The peanut butter cup is especially accurate.

  • Ah … no. I chewed some. I let others dissolve. No matter how I ate these, they tasted acidic, plastic, chalky, and gritty. Every single flavor (and I eventually sampled them all) was nauseatingly sweet and over-flavored.

    And, no matter how you eat them, there’s the laxitive effect to contend with.

    So, I’m sorry … but in my opinion (and that of every friend I foisted them on): these candies suck.

    Just so you know, Joe — since you work for the company, it would be good form to identify yourself as an employee when leaving comments like these.

  • I know these are terrible. Mark, thank you for making me laugh aloud! I too was lured by the pretty shiny box. However, and this in no way makes up for the icky taste, isn’t it a great idea? I mean, if they didn’t cause dry heaving.

  • I’m looking for more – I have had success on the Weight Watchers program and these little tasty candies actually satisfy my sweet tooth. Yes, you definitely have to let them dissolve in your moth – do not chew. I purchased mine at Wal-Mart for $2.49 and am looking for more. Anyone know who stocks this item on the West Coast?

  • they sound really interesting…even if they are bad, i at least want to try them…but ive looked at wal-mart and a few other places and i’ve yet to find them. I live on the east coast, right around the virginia/nc border. Does anybody know where i can find them!?

    if ya could email me at lindsay2187@yahoo.com thanks!!

  • I like them…where can I find them in the Washington D.C. area???? I got one box for Christmas from a relative and between me and others in the office they were gone in 2 days.Annie

  • Discovered them coming through Arkansas and and was curious. I LOVE ‘EM. I think you have to let them dissolve on your tongue to enjoy, too. A few of the flavors I don’t care for, I’m not into mochas, coffee flavors, and apple pies, but I LOVE the Dreamcicle, key lime and strawberry cheesecake. My husband likes the peanut butter cup, chocolat peanut caramel and apple pie. We even enjoy the banana cream and neither of us normally like banana flavored candy. It is especially good to keep him from the sugar (he’s diabetic) and I don’t need the extra calories.

    I find the tablets smooth when melting and are very satisfying.

  • I like them and I don’t usually like artifically sweetened things with fake flavors. I agree completely about letting them melt in the mouth. For the calories, they are remarkably satisfying. I need to find more, too!

    Orea

  • You can purchase them on-line at SinfullyDelicious.com but there is a minimum order. I want to try them really badly but do not want to purchase $15.00 worth at one time. That’s a lot of candy that has mixed reviews! The sampler box is $2.99 each and I would have to get 6 boxes ($17.94 + 5.00 S/H) to meet their minimum requirements! I’m not that interested. So if anyone finds them in California please let me know.

  • As this thread shows, some folks will eat anything, I suppose … a fact which may actually keep a nasty product like this one on the market for a while.

    Frankly? I’d rather have just one bite of a real dessert than unlimited mouthfuls of concentrated, gritty, chemical flavor.

  • My mother sent be some from Florida. But I checked on Ebay.com and found them in a search. They start at $1.65 for a 36 piece Sampler package. I have only tried the Banana Cream pie ones. They were Ok. Would rather have a Hershey’s Candy Bar or a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

  • Saw on TV & curious. Found sampler @ ediet.com for $9.95 not including s&h. Havenn’t gotten past negative reviews –not buying yet.

  • I’ve just tried them. They are gritty, but full of flavor. Curved my taste for dessert….well everything else. I guess that’s good.

  • Tried today, and love the bananna cream pie! Definitely have to let them dissolve in your mouth, but then again, why would’nt you want to savor something that taste so good? Wonderful for carb watchers!!

  • After hearing how SINFUL they were my co-worker and I ordered a few online. Let me tell you, mistake is an under statement. Since I don’t really enjoy chalk, comet, grit or antacids as a dessert the flavor was secondary and disappointing as well. Having tried the sampler to see if the grit got better and the flavor more appealing I nearly downed half the box. Let me tell you laxative effect would imply some form of RELAX, it was a full on COLON BLOW. Not worth the agony, I’d rather eat the pie and throw up later!

  • Dude, I LOVED Bubble Fudge when I was a kid. I remember it very fondly. :)To each their own, I guess.

  • I had to see for myself, so purchased a sampler pack on ebay. Couldn’t wait until they arrived. God awful is an understatement. The 3 I’ve tried all tasted the same, and have nothing in common with the flavors they are supposed to represent. They disolved in seconds, thank god. There are lots of sugar free candy on the market and for a few calories more, they are worth it. Maybe I can use the rest of the disks for bingo markers.

  • I saw them on the program “Unwrapped” on Food Network but after such bad reviews I am totally afraid to buy them.

Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

Worth a Look