Of Boys and Bishops

Of Boys and Bishops

The Episcopal Church installed the nation’s first openly gay bishop today, despite the delivery of an 11th hour email packed with accusations of sexual impropriety.

Frankly? I smelled a rat the moment I read David Lewis’ complaint: [Bishop Robinson] put his hands on me inappropriately every time I engaged him in conversation.”

This sort of vague comment reeks of exaggeration, suggesting much, but on closer inspection, saying nothing. In what way was the touch inappropriate? And did this genuinely happen during every conversation ever had with the man? How many conversations were there? Few enough to remember them all?

Sure enough, when the truth came out:

– The Bishop briefly put “his left hand on the individual’s arm and his right on the individual’s upper back.” It’s not exactly the slow, deliberate caressing of the testicles conjured by the phrase “inappropriate touch,” is it?

– “Every conversation” turned out to be one question in the hall on one night, followed by one comment made during a “light moment” later the same night. Heavens, based on Lewis’ statement, I pictured the Bishop grilling and fondling him for years!

Oh, yeah — remember the Bishop’s involvement with a pornographic website? Turns out he did, in fact, found an organization called Outright, and that this organization did, in fact, link to a site that did, in fact, link to porn.

But the Bishop’s involvement with the group ended eight years ago. The website in question wasn’t even created until seven years after the Bishop had moved on.

Meanwhile, Lewis — the whistleblower who brought church proceedings to a halt — “[regrets] having used the word ‘harassment’ in his email.”

Mr. Lewis? You win tonight’s Republican Apology Award.

The Episcopal Church installed the nation’s first openly gay bishop today, despite the delivery of an 11th hour email packed with accusations of sexual impropriety.

Frankly? I smelled a rat the moment I read David Lewis’ complaint: [Bishop Robinson] put his hands on me inappropriately every time I engaged him in conversation.”

This sort of vague comment reeks of exaggeration, suggesting much, but on closer inspection, saying nothing. In what way was the touch inappropriate? And did this genuinely happen during every conversation ever had with the man? How many conversations were there? Few enough to remember them all?

Sure enough, when the truth came out:

– The Bishop briefly put “his left hand on the individual’s arm and his right on the individual’s upper back.” It’s not exactly the slow, deliberate caressing of the testicles conjured by the phrase “inappropriate touch,” is it?

– “Every conversation” turned out to be one question in the hall on one night, followed by one comment made during a “light moment” later the same night. Heavens, based on Lewis’ statement, I pictured the Bishop grilling and fondling him for years!

Oh, yeah — remember the Bishop’s involvement with a pornographic website? Turns out he did, in fact, found an organization called Outright, and that this organization did, in fact, link to a site that did, in fact, link to porn.

But the Bishop’s involvement with the group ended eight years ago. The website in question wasn’t even created until seven years after the Bishop had moved on.

Meanwhile, Lewis — the whistleblower who brought church proceedings to a halt — “[regrets] having used the word ‘harassment’ in his email.”

Mr. Lewis? You win tonight’s Republican Apology Award.

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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