Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry?

Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry?

I love apologies statements like this one from recently-fired anti-gay talk show host Michael Savage: “If my comments brought pain to anyone, I certainly did not intend for this to happen, and apologize for any such reaction … I especially appeal to my many listeners … to accept my apologies for any inadvertent insults which may have occured.”

This hat-in-hand apology comes just hours after MSNBC, long under pressure to cancel Savage’s talk show, fired the man for telling a caller, “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites! You should only get AIDS and die, you pig!”

You don’t have to read the Savage’s statement very closely to determine just how sorry he really feels:

1) “If my comments brought pain to anyone.” In other words, he’s not necessarily even convinced or aware that his words caused anyone any pain … but he’s releasing this statement, just in case.

2) “I didn’t intend [to bring pain to anyone.]” Mr. Savage is suggesting here that he meant, “You should only get AIDS and die, you pig,” in the most Christian way. If you read any ill will into it, it’s entirely your mistake.

3) “I apologize for any such reaction.” Ah … at last! An apology! There’s just one problem: it’s for how you feel, not for what he did. It’s a bit like stabbing someone to death, then saying, “Oh … sorry you died.”

4) “Accept my apologies for any inadvertent insults.” Apologizing for those accidental offenses is a great start. Now how about those intentional ones?

It’s what I call the Republican Apology, practiced by everyone in the party from Trent Lott on down: I’m sorry you feel the way you do, and if, by some extreme and unlikely circumstance, anyone else feels the way you do, I’m sorry they feel that way, too.

In the event that Republicans (and other apology-impaired folk) are interested in making sincere apologies, here’s the formula:

1) State what you did.
2) Admit it was wrong.
3) Express regret for what you did (not for how it was taken).
4) For bonus points, personalize your apology.

Mr. Savage might say, “I called someone a sodomite and a pig, and said he should get AIDS and die. That was wrong; I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m very sorry that I did, and I make special apologies to the caller to whom I said those things.”

Now that’s an apology.

I love apologies statements like this one from recently-fired anti-gay talk show host Michael Savage: “If my comments brought pain to anyone, I certainly did not intend for this to happen, and apologize for any such reaction … I especially appeal to my many listeners … to accept my apologies for any inadvertent insults which may have occured.”

This hat-in-hand apology comes just hours after MSNBC, long under pressure to cancel Savage’s talk show, fired the man for telling a caller, “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites! You should only get AIDS and die, you pig!”

You don’t have to read the Savage’s statement very closely to determine just how sorry he really feels:

1) “If my comments brought pain to anyone.” In other words, he’s not necessarily even convinced or aware that his words caused anyone any pain … but he’s releasing this statement, just in case.

2) “I didn’t intend [to bring pain to anyone.]” Mr. Savage is suggesting here that he meant, “You should only get AIDS and die, you pig,” in the most Christian way. If you read any ill will into it, it’s entirely your mistake.

3) “I apologize for any such reaction.” Ah … at last! An apology! There’s just one problem: it’s for how you feel, not for what he did. It’s a bit like stabbing someone to death, then saying, “Oh … sorry you died.”

4) “Accept my apologies for any inadvertent insults.” Apologizing for those accidental offenses is a great start. Now how about those intentional ones?

It’s what I call the Republican Apology, practiced by everyone in the party from Trent Lott on down: I’m sorry you feel the way you do, and if, by some extreme and unlikely circumstance, anyone else feels the way you do, I’m sorry they feel that way, too.

In the event that Republicans (and other apology-impaired folk) are interested in making sincere apologies, here’s the formula:

1) State what you did.

2) Admit it was wrong.

3) Express regret for what you did (not for how it was taken).

4) For bonus points, personalize your apology.

Mr. Savage might say, “I called someone a sodomite and a pig, and said he should get AIDS and die. That was wrong; I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m very sorry that I did, and I make special apologies to the caller to whom I said those things.”

Now that’s an apology.

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

5 comments

  • When I first heard about Michael Savage having a talk show on MSNBC, I thought they meant Dan Savage (Savage Love). Those two couldn’t be more opposite. Good riddance.

  • Here! Here! Great commentary Mark!

    I was with Ammy for a while there… I was surprised such a Right broadcaster would dare pull someone like Dan Savage into their ranks and then reality slapped me in the face. Was actually a huge let down. Can you imagine?

    Anyway, I can barely watch any of them anymore unless it’s in a comedic fashion. All the news channels seem to be Republican TV these days!

  • The only thing worse than an ignorant and evil person (like Savage) is one who is also a coward. If this is how he feels, he should stick with it. Admit it. I would hate him LESS if he said “Yeah! That’s how I feel! I hate fags!”I don’t know how someone can expect to air such thoughts and apologize them away.He should come out of the closet.

  • I am a Republican and I didn’t like the comments the Mr. Savage made. (I didn’t see the show, I only heard of the comments from this page.) I may feel that homosexuallity is sinful, however, Mr. Savage should remember that God hates the sin, not the sinner. Making statements like that do no one any good and makes other Republicans look bad. We aren’t all like that.

  • You know, “Old Friend,” when you get to be God, your opinion about my sinfulness may mean something. Till then, announcing it, especially here, is just rude.

    I have a pet theory — borne out, so far, in almost every case I can think of — that people compelled to publically announce their verdict on the sinfulness of homosexuality are, in fact, working through a lot of self-hatred and denial.

    If that’s the case for you, my prayer is that you’ll find peace through self-acceptance.

    Even if it’s not the case for you, I hope you’ll think twice before so boldly “casting the first stone.” Frankly, I find attending fully to my own spiritual path keeps me so occupied, I haven’t time to speculate about the sinfulness of others.

Who Wrote This?

Mark McElroy

I'm a husband, mystic, writer, media producer, creative director, tinkerer, blogger, reader, gadget lover, and pizza fiend.

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