New Wedding Traditions

With the legalization of same-sex marriage in Ontario — and with all of Canada on the verge of recognizing same-sex marriages — there’s a real quandry. Given the novelty of gay marriages, it seems there are no rules to guide the wedding planners, and no traditions (like trinity candles, garters, etc.) to follow.

With that in mind, a friend from Canada (thanks, Chris!) sent along this short list of suggested guidelines to keep in mind.

1) On the day of a gay wedding, it’s bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.

2) Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have: something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.

3) It’s customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the parents to have an open bar during the entire ceremony.

4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating any of the wedding cake because it’s all carbs and sugar.

5) It’s considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.

6) During the first dance, it’s considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or hand held lasers.

7) For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival.

8) The reception hall must have a disco ball and at least 1 go-go dancer.

9) The wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let’s Hear It For the Boy, It’s Raining Men or I Will Survive.

10) The father of the Bottom pays for everything!

(Since I first posted this list, I’ve found it attributed to Bob Smith of Out magazine. I’ve also found very similar lists here, here and here. (Interesting that the last link offers the same list under the heading, “Wedding Advice Before You Go to Vermont,” which dates the piece significantly.)